Don't Squander the Wander!

That little star on an ID. Yes, we know you have a valid form of identification. Yes, we know we actually issued it. But now we have to have this new card. We need to know that you are really, really, really who you say you are. Yes, same you. No, the old ID won’t work anymore. We need to see the new you, with the tiny star in the corner.

Alas, we went and got our new form of “this is me.” Soon after, we had a situation to use it. I don’t even remember what requirement stipulated a confirmation of such number and expiration date. Digging through my purse, past the tissue pack and sunglasses, my wallet peeked out into the sunlight. Finding the license tucked into its sleeve, I looked at the girl smiling back at me.

We’ve been on a journey, you and me. You’ve earned each wrinkle, and every grey hair a reminder of life lived. Wouldn’t trade it. Wouldn’t have believed it if you told my teenage self what was coming. Yet, life is good. Better than I could have ever imagined. This weaving road that has led to healing and hope.

But there was something different in this brand new picture. This girl. This life lived. As I looked her in the eye, words escaped my lips before I could stop them. Proclaiming to my husband the truth of this moment:

Well, she ain’t skinny.

But she knows who she is.

There is a confidence about her.

The love of my life was a little more than puzzled with this proclamation, but once I explained, the smile spread across his face. Finally. He’s been trying to get me to see what he sees since the day he laid eyes on that young girl. Three decades later, I see her. But better.

Friend, this is an epiphany for the ages. A battle cry. A victory chant.

In one moment I realized what I hadn’t seen but was emerging before our eyes. Transformation. While the grey hairs, wrinkles, and dare I say weight remain, the transforming grace and power of God beams beyond the external. Lord Jesus, I praise You for what only You could have done.

The funny thing about transformation is the Holy Spirit knows what has happened deep within. Bystanders, not so much. Critics, whether they see it or not, are bent on hiding it, denying it, rejecting it, and reprimanding us for having the guts to announce what we know to be true. No matter. God sees. God did it. Victory comes in many shapes and sizes, and in all sorts of circumstances. Across decades or in an instant, when God moves, it is undeniable.

See, I’ve been the girl featured in magazine ads who lost weight with a miracle product. I have a medal or two hanging on the wall from a 5k run here or there. I’ve published, accomplished, earned, worked, served, traveled, and just flat out worn myself out. With all that, and every accolade, I still wasn’t able to look at any picture, portrait or form of identification and see what God sees.

Until now. Broken. Restored. Emerging victorious. Wrinkles, grey hairs and all. No job, no position, no striving. Just a girl in love with her God, her husband, and her kids. This is what victory looks like.

She ain’t skinny.

But she knows who she is.

There’s a confidence about her.